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The last week has been one where my mind and my heart were going through such a rollercoaster of emotions on the heels of my trip to Tanzania.
There were moments where I would be smiling and then just seconds later was a sobbing mess on the floor. Trying to put my finger on what in the world was going on ~ well, that was just about impossible because there were so many different reasons.
And truthfully, blogging just seemed so…trite. One moment I was ready to just toss the whole blog thing out the window because of the extremes that I had witnessed the week prior. How in the world was I supposed to go about our day-to-day routine and jump back into life after seeing how other families struggle to even provide food for their children?
These were just a few of the thoughts barreling through my brain last week. Those and the contemplations of selling all that we own.
So blogging was pushed aside. The first few days home I was S.I.C.K. And although that was stinky, God knew that I needed some time to just be still and process. Listen. Wait.
Through that time {and I’m sure the weeks and months to come}, I’ve been reminded of how much we have been blessed with and that I should continue walking in what God has called me to do ~ as a wife, a mother, and here on this blog.
Granted, there will be changes in things here at home. In my heart. In how I approach things here on this blog. We are blessed. So amazingly blessed. And through those blessings, we are able to in turn bless others. And now we as a family desire to do so much more than ever before.
So while in some ways it seems that we’re back to life as normal, truthfully, we’re not. I’ve changed. We’re changing.
And change is a good thing.
Love you, girl! I understand every single one of those emotions. I’m glad you’re feeling better and you’re making your way back. I don’t think God is finished using your words to His glory yet so keep writing! I’m praying for you, and for all of us. :)
The hardest thing for me is putting it all into words that accurately share my heart and my feelings. :) I know that I know that I know that God has so much more in store for me and our family through this entire trip and process and am absolutely blessed to have a husband who ‘gets’ it, even though he wasn’t physically there with me to see and ‘feel’ it all.
I am sure I will be going through much the same thing a few months from now after a trip I am taking to Kenya. I have traveled internationally before but not since having children and I KNOW I will have many emotional rollercoaster days too. But as you said that really is necessary, normal and where God wants you right now. Blessings.
Praying NOW for you and all that is to come for you, Megan. :)
It is, and it’s so hard to do. Take the time to think and process, and KEEP BLOGGING because how else will we get to learn what you’re learning (I don’t see a trip to Africa in my near future).
Sometimes we need to step out to really see. I am glad that this trip has changed you. I am from a Third World Country and now I live in the US and I am homeschooling my children. Sometimes I wish I could bring home all the excess that people throw away here… This is my favorite post from you.
Thanks so much, Jeanette. :) I know just what you mean about the excess ~ puts it all into a new perspective!
yes, it is!! Praying for you!!!
This is wonderful. I had a similar experience in college when I traveled to South Africa and Zimbabwe. I had just given my life to the Lord a year earlier, and this trip was the first thing I KNEW the Lord wanted me to do. The extreme poverty I witnessed made it so difficult to come back and feel…”normal.” How to come back to daily life after all I had seen?
All that to say…I know. Change IS a good thing. I’m praying for you as you continue to process and as the Lord uses your experience to change you and your family.
Thanks so much Coby. :)
Praying you through, friend.
Jolanthe, I can only begin to imagine what you’re experiencing. I’m halfway through Jen Hatmaker’s book 7 and I’m ready to sell everything and change our lives dramatically. So hard to think through all our “stuff” and comfort….listening to God’s voice as to how we can contribute to His Kingdom. Wish it were easier, but I’m beginning to believe that the journey contributes to our maturity as Christians. Looking forward to hearing how God works in your family’s life. thanks for sharing with us. :) Can I ask a quick question? what’s the difference between Compassion and World Vision?
Here is a great post from Shaun Groves about the differences:
http://shaungroves.com/2008/03/the-difference/
I read this and I think he makes good comparisons. Especially about the workings and Christian side of it. World Vision is the world’s largest NGO and working in more than 70 countries – including Muslim countries because of the reasons he has listed.
But I do think the money thing should be a little clearer. He says that when you sponsor a child with WV you are sponsoring a “representation of who you are helping” and Compassion gives directly to child’s family. And he says that your money may not directly help your sponsored child. This is not true.
While WV does leverage all the money of the sponsors in an area development project, you sponsorship money does send your kid to school, get them medical care, access to clean water, food security and so on. It also provides for siblings who may not be sponsored children.
I have been to see World Visions work, my sister and many friends have also been to see their sponsored children and the child is directly helped. They just aren’t handed the cash. The money goes into the community so that ALL the children get immunizations, school and access to the water wells.
————————————————
Anyway, I wasn’t trying to hijack the post. I am thrilled to see that you are working through all this – it’s VERY hard to decompress and return to America after being on a trip like this. God will guide you through this.
I am glad you are feeling better!! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for you and your family! This blog might seem trite at times.. but you can also use it as a tool to reach people.. which I am sure you are aware of! (((HUGS)))
we sooooo need to get together. :)
Still praying for you.
thanks, Jill. :)
You are feeling what many true missionaries feel in the wide chasm between the 3rd world and the developed world (like the U.S.). They work among people who really have needs so basic as to cry for them for every meal that is missing, etc, while at the same time, the missionary knows that people in the developed world would gladly give more if they knew the true extent of the need in those places. Who wouldn’t give up a $5 coffee drink today, or a $10 lunch to give the funds to a family that won’t have food on the table today. We just get so absorbed in our world that we forget about the lack of basic needs in other parts of the world. I am from the U.S. but I have lived in Costa Rica with my Costa Rican husband and kids. The missionary has a hard position to maintain, because they need to be in touch with their support base, but also in communion with the people that they are working with.
It’s definitely given me pause whenever I think of doing anything. :) We live in such an ‘instant’ society and can quickly and easily grab whatever we want {and don’t necessarily need}. When you know how FAR that money can go elsewhere, well, it just makes you stop and think…
Oops. See next comment.
I’m trying to post from my blog instead of from FB….
Perspective. Seeing such a different culture can really change one’s perspective. I noticed you said your trip would change how you blog. What will change?
Anyway, It’s all about perspective. Visiting another culture gives us such a different perspective about our own culture.
I can understand as I live in East Africa (Kenya) and you see how the people who can not afford suffer especially with their families
Shaheen