The homeschool year hasn’t even started for our family yet and last week there was a moment when all I wanted to do was sit down on the floor and have a really good cry. Ambitions were high for the summer months, and essentially nothing on my list was accomplished (according to what my brain and unwritten expectations were). Just so you know, I envisioned having co-op syllabuses completed in June and a huge chunk of my planning done that month as well. I thought I’d have it ALL done and just kick back and relax the rest of the summer. 

Sometimes those unwritten expectations can really wreak havoc on a person – and mind you, I’m a top contender in that department. 

But life intervened and between swim team duties and some wonderful family interruptions, summer didn’t go according to plan. And that’s all a good thing. I don’t want to get so wrapped up in my expectations that I miss the life to live right in front of me.

However, when walking into the school room last week to get started on organizing for the new year, it felt like a blanket of heaviness was draped over my shoulders. Piles of curriculum pulled off the shelf to relocate or sell were all over the place – even after baskets of books had been taken out. Stacks of supplies the kids had brought up to the school room for me – and then dumped somewhere random – stared at me. Our room is a huge blessing, but left alone where we don’t see it everyday left it at a point where it was just plain overwhelming. 

I shared a picture on Facebook last week of the overwhelm I was feeling, and many of you chimed in or emailed me sharing your current state, which told me one thing: we are NOT alone in our feelings of being overwhelmed. Sadly, many of us sit and hold it in, adding to the mountain of feelings. 

Whether or not you have a week or more (or less) to get ready for the upcoming year, here are a few tips for when you feel overwhelmed as a homeschool mom. 

Tips for When You Feel Overwhelmed as a Homeschool Mom

Take a deep breath. I’d love to say that I didn’t tear up, but that would be a lie. I cried a little – and that’s ok! I needed a chance to stop for a moment, and getting that overwhelmed feeling out. After that, I sat back, stared down my nemesis, and took a deep breath. That moment of calming was enough to help me focus on the task ahead and realize it could be done. 

Jump in and DO IT. While the list of things needing to be done would definitely take more than an afternoon, I jumped right in to work on what was in front of me, clearing the visible clutter since much of my overwhelm comes from the visual aspect of messes. You know what your own triggers are – tackle those first so you can relax a little. I grabbed a large trash bag, moved piles to the hallway for things to be taken out of the school room, shelved books, vacuumed, dusted, and focused on the giant task in front of me. I set an internal goal (remember how I said I’m good at those??) to get it cleaned up in an hour (call me crazy). 

Plot your attack and stay focused. Because I have trouble remembering things at time (I’m over 40 and a mom of four. Have mercy, please.), I took a small notebook with me to jot down things that came to mind as I was working. Print off planners for the girls. Plan out the first month of lit lessons for our co-op classes. Double check all curriculum for the year. Find all the US History books on our shelves. Organize science supplies.

The list may keep growing, but rather than getting distracted by little things along the way, stay focused on the task in front of you. My list was my mental dumping ground for what needed to be worked on later that day or in the upcoming week. When finished with the initial cleaning, I went over the list and prioritized what needed to be done. Some of the items were able to be checked off quickly (making me feel accomplished and more motivated!), and the rest – well, they’ll get done too – in time. 

Putting it down on paper puts it into perspective for you as well. Looking at it in black and white helps you see what really needs to be accomplished, or saved until later. While finishing off the baseboards in our school room is something that needs to be done, it doesn’t need to be finished before the school year starts. (grins)

Phone a friend. There is power in numbers, so don’t push aside the benefit of friends. My initial panic also involved chatting with a friend on the phone and commiserating our mutual chaos. We made a plan to sit down together in the upcoming week – me to help her with one of her daunting tasks (anything is more fun with a friend!), and she is going to work with me on one of my projects. Together is always more enjoyable! 

Friends also have the added benefit of talking you down from your proverbial ledges and giving you a nudge (or shove) in the direction you need to be headed. I have two local friends who are fabulous at holding me accountable on tasks and helping me stay focused. 

Let go of what doesn’t need to be done. It’s so easy to get caught up in all the things you feel you should be doing. Earlier this year I shared 10 things to eliminate from your homeschool and in addition to those ten things, I would also encourage you to not overdo it. Don’t overwhelm yourself (or your kids) with subject areas that you don’t really need to work on solely because it appears it’s the right thing to do. From outside activities to 15 subjects per child, you can get yourself on the fast track to a certifiable mess. Limit and eliminate the extra stuff – and don’t look back. 

Pray. This just goes without saying, but remember to keep yourself grounded in God’s word, letting Him know your fears, frustrations, and dreams. 

Get rest and lots of it. It’s hard work being a mom and adding on the responsibility of being your child’s teacher ups the stress even more. You need to rest. And beyond rest, you need to sleep. Don’t burn the candle at both ends and hope to catch up on the weekend, or whenever. Get the rest now. Go to bed on time and strive for the rest your body needs to keep going. Take care of yourself as much as you care for those children of yours, otherwise you can put yourself out of commission quickly. Ask me how I know. 

Aside from your body responding better, sleep will also give you more clarity of thought. Tasks that seemed incredibly overwhelming the day before might be put into perspective or a different approach may come to mind. Know when to slow down, stop, and put your feet up for your own sanity (and your family’s)!

While there are still many tasks ahead in the upcoming week, my perspective has completely shifted from feeling overwhelmed as I’ve taken a step back and plotted out what needs to be done. And that hour time limit I set for myself? It did wonders to ease my mind. It’s amazing what you can get done when you stop and focus on what’s in front of you. 

This won’t be the only time during the year that those feelings of overwhelm will creep up. Throughout the year, they resurface in different areas, but in those moments, pause and take a deep breath. You CAN get through this. 

Are you struggling with feeling overwhelmed? What tips can you offer to other homeschool moms in the trenches with you? 

Another post you may enjoy….Why Your Homeschool Needs a Rest Time.

credit: Todd Wilson

The other day on Facebook I shared a graphic from Todd Wilson (the Family Man) and really truly loved the variety of comments from you all! (No really – I do!)

With the end of the year looming SO very close, there are days that we just want to be done. Finished. We are squeezing in testing along with wrapping up a few of the remaining subjects, but I will admit that it’s tempting to put one thing aside sometimes and call it good. 

And the truth is, we have done that in the past. (and our kids have survived). 

Despite there being 180 days of lesson plans or boxes to check off, there have been a few that we didn’t do every single lesson. Last year, a mere ten lessons from the end, one child asked if they could take the final test in the class and if they received a 94 or above – stop. Guess what? They scored a 100. Class over. (I’ll admit though, this is hard because I’m a girl who loves to check off boxes!)

The beauty of working 1:1 with our kids is we know when they have mastered something or need to focus in a bit more until they have. If it’s been mastered – it’s okay to move along. There is the aspect of high school classes to take into consideration (we have a level of commitment there we definitely need to hit in order to earn a high school credit), but if my 4th grader has mastered all the prepositions and can diagram and break down a sentence, I may not need to finish the last chunk of lessons when he already has the rest mastered. 

One mom mentioned: 

… most curricula was designed to include more in it than the average classroom/family could possibly do in a school year. In fact, some texts have directions for using a single textbook for at least two years of study. There are times we’ve taken two years to finish something, but there are times when we say that we’ve done enough and move on. (thanks Cheryl!)

Coming from the public school setting, that is so very true. No matter how much I may try to fit everything in, there is always more than enough to do. There are also days that we go off on rabbit trails and extend the learning in other ways. 

But on the other hand…

On the flip side of that, I love this comment too from another mom (Elizabeth): 

I see it as being a good steward of our finances and teaching the kids to be perseverant. I have done the hundreds of hours of research to determine which curriculum is best for the learning styles of my very different children. Then spent the hundreds of dollars that my husband has earned by sacrificing his time and talent away from our family…

The truth is – that resonates a lot with me as well! If the curriculum has been a great fit for our family, we need to remember that many of us have invested both time and money into our year – and it is important to follow through. I do think too that it is important to teach our kids the value of following through with commitments we have made. Sometime we don’t always like to do something, but it can be a matter of establishing good habits. 

My overall thoughts are this (and I’d love to hear yours too!) –  if you are feeling stressed out and about at your wits end, maybe even feeling like this year has been a flop and you are failing at this homeschooling thing… well, it ok to give yourself a little grace. I may just be time to put that history book aside and focus on getting the core stuff done. Or looking at the bigger picture – can you put the rest aside and pick up later? Or start fresh next year. Different states do require various things to complete the year, so take that into consideration as well. 

Maybe you need to take a day break and jump back in with a fresh focus to finish up the last bit with gusto. If one more worksheet might push you over the edge, maybe there is a creative way to finish out your year that both you and your kiddos can get on board with! Take that field trip and have fun together videotaping your kid’s thoughts on what they learned. Let THEM teach a lesson to you. (Check out this post for some ways to mix things up at the end of the homeschool year). 

The most important thing to remember is this: YOU know where your child is academically and what s/he does or doesn’t need to complete. Take the time to look back over the past year and honestly evaluate if you are good to go. Allow yourself grace if you are heaping guilt on yourself. 

It’s all about perspective and remembering what matters in the long run. :) ENJOY your time together with your kiddos! 

What are YOUR thoughts – every box checked or do you roll with it? 

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5 Things to ADD to the end of your homeschool year