When It’s Time to Have the S-E-X Talk

Yes, I did just type THOSE letters. Take a deep breath and keep reading. I promise, it’s all good!

It wasn’t long ago that I was almost sick to my stomach anticipating a weekend away with my oldest and THE BIG CONVERSATION (yep, the sex talk) that we were going to have. We both returned from that weekend having grown closer, questions answered, and an open door for future questions and talks. In short, I was so relieved.

That said, my anticipation of taking McKenna (our now 12 year old) out for the night with just me to have the same talk – well, it was MUCH different. I was actually excited because I had one talk under my belt and a love for a program that made the entire adventure fun.

Before I go much further, I will say that McKenna is an entirely different girl than her older sister. Where one is more reserved and self-reflecting, the other is energetic and burns with the passion of a thousand suns (emotionally and otherwise). Dresses vs. sports jerseys. Quite frequently – polar opposites.

McKenna though was very excited to have a night away with me in a hotel, so we started planning a few things to do just as girl time for the two of us, but very different from the weekend I spent with her sister. Truthfully, this was the most stretching time for me just figuring out what in the world we could do that wasn’t girly (no nails painted), but would be fun and memorable.

And we had the BEST time together. Really, this weekend opened up some great communication that has been trickling (and pouring) in over the past several months, something that the two of us have struggled with.

Several years ago we ordered Passport2Purity put together by Dennis and Barbara Rainey from Family Life Ministries. {It’s here that I will insert a note to say that if you are stressed about talking with your kids and not sure how to approach it with your kids, order it NOW to use together}.

The Passport2Purity Weekend Retreat Kit is hands-down a fabulous resource for parents to use and covers SO much more than just the basics. During the weekend we talked about friendships, peer pressure, sex, setting boundaries, keeping pure, and dating. While several of the topics having fully come into play yet, our time together gave us the opportunity to talk about things before they were issues and lay some guidelines in place.

The entire weekend was laid out for us through the parent’s manual that comes in the kit and we listened to audio teachings from the Rainey’s, pausing the cds occasionally to answer questions together and have more heart-to-heart conversations. (Oh you all, this was the BEST PART EVER). .

McKenna had a blast using her journal {included in the kit} for her to take notes in as well. Prior to the weekend, Rick and I each took time to write her a letter that she read before our weekend away. But she wrote, doodled, wrote some more and has the journal to keep as a reminder of the weekend. It was so wonderful to see her thoughts in place too – people in her life that she considers influential (and yes, she had her sister in there too).

Because she isn’t a girly girl (she is very much against anything that typically involved nail polish), we decided to head to a local pottery place, chose a mug, and worked together on something for her to remember the weekend by. Can you guess what she is making?

The end product turned out so cute!!  She loves getting coffee on Sunday mornings, so for her, this was a HUGE treat! Besides that, the mug makes us smile every time we see it or she uses it. LOVE it.

We wrapped up our trip to a local antique mall where she chose a tea cup to use in our sit-downs in the upcoming years. The tea cup is something she can pull out if she ever wants to talk to me about anything, we’ll brew a pot of something, and together we will sit down together to talk. The tea cup also was to represent how delicate her purity is and how gently we need to care for it. She was thrilled to have a special cup for her {it took us nearly an hour to find the perfect one!}.

Over the last several months since our night away, the communication has definitely improved between us and opened up some good (and hard) conversations about things that are happening around us. I am SO thankful because it has given both of us a jumping off point into an otherwise uncomfortable topic.

Did you take a special weekend or time to talk with your child about sex and dating? Was there something memorable that you did together to remember the time together?

Note: This post was in no way solicited by Family Life – it’s just simply one mom and dad’s thankfulness for a fabulous resource for families to use! I love that we just need to order an additional journal for each child to use it again.